Rape culture - is real

Regardless of your personal beliefs as to how we all got on this big floating rock called Earth. The fact is, we are all here just trying to survive, and figure life out, and find joy in things. No one person is born superior or inferior to any other person regardless of skin color, race, sex, sexual orientation, or gender identity. We are all fellow "HUMANS" on this planet just living life. With that in mind.........why is it so easy for some to think they are somehow "better" than others, or that the simple fact that you were born with a vagina as opposed to a penis somehow makes you an inferior being? Lets examine this for a bit.

Refer to the "pyramid" above. It shows visually, the trends that occur, which end up leading to worse and worse behavior. It starts out at the bottom with some seemingly innocent behaviors listed under the category of "Normalisation" that most people would brush off as nothing dangerous or significant. Simple "locker room talk" or "boys being boys" talking about girls and women in a derogatory manner. It might be little sexist jokes. The person saying the sexist jokes and comment, might not even really feel that way themselves. They are just feeding off of the desire to be "cool" around their friends. But......when this kind of behavior is allowed to continue, it grows. Like a fire that is not put out while small. It spreads to others who follow the example set for them, who then go into a different group of friends and tell the same jokes and things. While at first, it seems like a fairly innocent thing, it is actually very dammaging to women and girls in general even if the women never hear those comments themselves. It builds this negative view of women in the minds of those who participate and condone such behavior. A view which goes with those men or boys into other aspects of life.

As we move to the next tier up on the pyramid, we have some more advanced negative behavior. This time under the category of "Degradation".

"Stalking/Following, Non-consensual photos, Cat-calling, Whistling, Unsolicited Dick Pics, Revenge porn"

Most boys and men do not grow up just doing these things by default. It is not the "nature" of a male to be that way. This is something they are programmed to do over time. Over years and years of being exposed to other "boys being boys" and "locker room talk". They didn't come out of the womb being sexist and degrading to women. They learned this behavior. They learned it, because too many people think it is okay. Too many people look the other way or participate in it. And they grow up thinking this is just what you do. Thinking that women are inferior. What happens when you think you are superior to another human, is you tend to not treat them with the respect they deserve. People can be extremely cruel and judgmental. And this tends to be exaggerated toward those we feel are on a lesser level than us. Look at the hatred perpetrated upon those of other races or skin color, or sexual orientations and gender identities. It is a real problem we deal with in this life.

As this pyramid so cleverly illustrates, sexism and rape culture happens on a progressive scale.

As we move up to the next level on the pyramid, we have some words or behaviors under the category of "Removal of autonomy".

"Sexual coercion, Groping, Safe word violations, Threatening, Dosing, Covert condom removal"

These again, are behaviors that did not just arise out of nowhere. The perpetrators of these behaviors were not born doing these things. They started out with simple "locker room talk" about women and girls. Which then progressed to truly feeling superior to women, which then evolves into taking that superiority, and feeling that they are entitled or justified somehow in being more forceful with women. As they continue to feed on this idea that woman are somehow inferior, they empower themselves.

Eventually, we get to the top of the pyramid, where we have the category "Explicit violence."

"Gang Rape, Murder, Molestation, Rape, Violence"

We have now gotten so complacent and superior in our treatment of women, and feeling such a level or superiority over them, that we now feel justified in doing some very horrid things to them. Did I somehow miss the part where they are still human beings? What has happened here? How are these men so empowered and so lacking in normal feelings of respect and love, that they would allow themselves to do such terrible things to women? Again......it did not happen overnight.... This was a progressive evolution of behavior. Which is why it is so absolutely vital to be a huge part of your childrens lives. Teach your sons how to treat women. Teach your daughters that they don't have to take it. Teach your daughters to be empowered, and to think for themselves. Tell them often that they are worthy of being treated right, and that they are beautiful. Be a good example to your sons and do not ever speak negatively about women and girls. And if you ever do have anything negative to say about your wife or daughters, do not include terminology that implies it is because they are "female" that you are displeased with them. Saying things like "Women are always so emotional" can begin to program your sons from a very young age, to begin this mindset of superiority which leads to progressively worse behavior throughout life, all because of these division between men and women that has been a thing for as long as men and women have existed.

We do not have to continue this cycle!

Let your sons see you treat, and talk about women with love and respect. Let them see you treat women and girls the way they deserve to be treated. Like any other human being. Just because they happen to not have a penis between their legs, does not somehow make them inferior. And making even minimal jokes, implying that they are somehow inferior, can progressively lead to a larger and large division between men and women. When people are divided, they lose common interest. They lose an ability to truly care for each other. Which leads to an ability to develop negative feelings toward each other. Eventually, this can lead to very bad things. We can make a change! This does not have to continue!

My wife shared with me the following "Rape Culture Quotes" by some very well known people in politics which I wanted to share, and add some commentary :-)

"Some girls rape easy." - Rep. Roger Rivard (R-WI)

He lost the re-election to a democrat after making this comment supposedly. He claims that it was something told to him by his father, who was trying to convey to him how dangerous pre-marital sex was, and how "easy" it is for it to go from consensual sex to "rape" because the girl can suddenly decide she doesn't like it anymore, and claim rape. Okay........

"Rape is kinda like the weather. If it’s inevitable, relax and enjoy it." - Clayton Williams (R-former Texas gubernatorial candidate)

"Mr. Williams made the remark on Saturday while preparing for a cattle roundup at his West Texas ranch. He compared the cold, foggy weather spoiling the event to a rape, telling ranch hands, campaign workers and reporters around a campfire, ''If it's inevitable, just relax and enjoy it. -The New York Times.'' Oh okay! Now it makes perfect sense. NOT!!!

"From what I understand...If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down." - Todd Akin (R-MO)

I remember this one quite well. And I remember the news outlets at the time, some of them losing their minds over the comment, some of them defending it. I remember him trying to clarify that what he meant is, that the female body will not get pregnant if it is a "legitimate rape". If that is the case, then why do we have so many babies out there that are the result of rape? Well according to him, I guess the sex that resulted in those pregnancies, could not possibly have been "rape". It must have been consensual if it resulted in a pregnancy. Because if it was really "rape" she would not have gotten pregnant, since the female body has ways to "try to shut that whole thing down."

"You know, back in my days, they used Bayer aspirin for contraception. The gals put it between their knees, and it wasn’t that costly." - Foster Friess (R-mega-donor behind Rick Santorum Super PAC)

This again is an absolutely disgusting and sexist comment as far as I'm concerned! And where is the man in this scenario? Why is it only the gals responsibility to "keep her legs closed"? What about the man? It almost implies that all women do is have sex, and how slutty of them! The men are totally left off the hook as if there is no responsibility on their part to keep themselves from impregnating women. Men can go and sleep around with every woman in town, and they are considered "cool" and somehow respected. If a woman admits to having even just two sexual partners, she is immediately looked down upon and treated like a "slut". So disgusting and wrong!!!

"If a woman has (the right to an abortion), why shouldn’t a man be free to use his superior strength to force himself on a woman? At least the rapist’s pursuit of sexual freedom doesn’t (in most cases) result in anyone’s death." - Lawrence Lockman (R-ME)

At the time that he made these comments in a letter in 1990 supposedly, he was the president of the Pro Life Education Association. He apologizes for the comments now, “I hold no animosity toward anyone by virtue of their gender or sexual orientation, and today I am focused on ensuring freedom and economic prosperity for all Mainers.” Ref: The Huffington Post

"In the emergency room they have what’s called rape kits, where a woman can get cleaned out." - Jodie Laubenberg (R-TX) Does this person really truly believe that that's what a "Rape kit" at the ER is? "In floor debate that would extend hours past midnight June 23, 2013, Rep. Jodie Laubenberg, R-Parker, mentioned "rape kits" after Rep. Senfronia Thompson, D-Houston, presented an amendment to Senate Bill 5 to exempt victims of rape and incest from limits on abortions after the 20th week of pregnancy. A day later, the GOP-majority House advanced the measure to the Senate for possible action before a 30-day special session was to end June 25.Laubenberg, responding to questions from Democratic Reps. Joseph Moody of El Paso and Dawnna Dukes of Austin, framed her refusal to accept Thompson’s amendment by implying that rape kits used in hospitals can prevent unwanted pregnancy.....We looked into whether the representative was correct that a rape kit is akin to dilation and curettage surgery, ultimately finding no common ground or any factual basis for this claim.....a rape kit typically consists of tools, storage containers and paperwork related to collecting evidence in the first days after a possible sexual assault...-Politifact Texas"

"It is similar, from the father’s position." - Tom Smith (R, failed candidate for a seat in PA, discussing how rape and premarital sex are the same thing) So this comment came just one week after the above mentioned comment by Todd Akin about "legitimate rape". Apparently, his daughter or someone close to him, got pregnant out of wedlock....“She chose life, and I commend her for that,” he said. “She knew my views. But, fortunately for me, I didn’t have to ... she chose the way I thought. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t rape.”When a reporter asked Smith to clarify what kind of situation was similar to becoming pregnant from rape, the candidate responded, “Having a baby out of wedlock.”He added, “Put yourself in a father’s position. Yes, it is similar.-TheHuffingtonPost”

"I would hope that when a woman goes into a physician, with a rape issue, that that physician will indeed ask her about perhaps her marriage, was this pregnancy caused by normal relations in a marriage, or was it truly caused by a rape." - Chuck Winder (R-ID) He was the sponsor of an Idaho Mandatory Ultrasound bill. It was a bill that would make it mandatory for any woman who was seeking an abortion, to first have an ultrasound. I'm sure this was probably an effort to get her to "see" the living being within her, as an attempt to try to deter her from having the abortion. I don't know. But, he apparently was implying that "rape" could be used as an excuse to get an abortion. So he was attempting to clarify, that the physician needs to find out if it really was "rape" or if she is just lying.

"What did they expect?" - Liz Trotta (FOX pundit and horrible person, referring to women who are raped in the military) "She cited a recent Pentagon report that sex crimes committed by army personnel have increased by 64% over the past six years. Then she made a startling statement:“I think they have actually discovered there is a difference between men and women. And the sexual abuse report says that there has been, since 2006, a 64% increase in violent sexual assaults. Now, what did they expect? These people are in close contact, the whole airing of this issue has never been done by Congress, it’s strictly been a question of pressure from the feminists.”Trotta also alleged that “feminists” have demanded too much money to fund programs for sexual abuse victims. “You have this whole bureaucracy upon bureaucracy being built up with all kinds of levels of people to support women in the military who are now being raped too much,” she said. -TheHuffingtonPost

"Rape victims should make the best of a bad situation." - Rick Santorum (R - Senator from PA) Seriously? Nothing like being very insensitive to the very real problem. To those who have been raped, I'm sorry for idiots who make comments like this that trivialize it, and even shame you for not just enjoying it. How sick and twisted is that?

"And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab 'em by the pussy." - Donald Trump (R-Reality TV star and now President of the United States) I don't feel the need to ad much commentary or clarification for this clowns comments. He is the laughing stock of the world, and every time he opens his mouth or his Twitter account, he is yet again not only making a fool out of himself, but causing a lot of hatred and division in the world. Not just the country. Remember that Rape Culture Pyramid at the top of this blog post? Look at what is happening here. We have a freaking PRESIDENT of the United States making sexist comments. Comments that program the young boys who hear them, to think they are okay and funny. Which leads them to think other inappropriate behavior towards women is also okay, until in some cases, we have people growing up thinking it is okay to rape and beat women, because they are inferior. I mean, hey. They are learning how to treat women by watching the leader of our country. Do you really want that? Or would you rather step in and teach them the correct way to treat women?

Until next time! Have a lovely day, and treat women right! A woman brought you into this life. Always remember that.